Why it's useless to say "just call me"; Theoretical butt dialing solution

 Mental Health advocates and well wishers so often post "just call me" or "just reach out".

Yeah, that doesn't work for me.

I have 0 problem admitting my own broken skull occupant.  Nope.  It's not stigma or pride or any of that.

I can't call because I won't let me.

When I am in a fit of pain it's because of my brain.  My own brain is trying to harm me, trying to kill me.  So using this brain, the same one trying to hurt me, as a sounding board on whether I should call so-and-so for help doesn't end up working.

It's like asking Jason Voorhees what law enforcement jurisdiction number you should phone to stop him.  

An intellectual way to say it is:

My ability to reach out for help is inverse to the urgency of the requirement.

Or:

The worse I am the less I can call.

 

 A line I wrote in the midst of the fit was: 

"There is no safe place to be this broken".  

This is AFTER my google searches for how bad my suicidal ideation was directed me to help lines.  

I don't have a fix for this.  One idea is to "pocket dial" someone safe and just fake that it was in fact and errant butt dial (apparently different from booty call, don't mix those ever).